funkshoi has written 12 reviews for films rated ★★ .

  • 28 Weeks Later

    28 Weeks Later

    ★★

    Well I suppose the main takeaway from this doomsday scenario is something my pappy used to tell me and his pappy used to tell him:

    Don’t give top-level military clearance to the building super during a zombie outbreak. 

    So I hope this nugget gets passed along to you and yours. Take care. God bless.

  • Shadow in the Cloud

    Shadow in the Cloud

    ★★

    There’s a vibe this story was hijacked by a coked out producer from the 80s, in that bat-shit crazy plot devices are peppered in. To be clear, I have zero problems with that. But then it feels like it holds some of that back which is a bummer. I wish they’d just go all in on schlock. Throw a Transformer in the story. Add zombies. Fuck it, add a couple draculas and some sexy werewolves. There wasn’t really a plot to begin with, so my moneys on the cokehead furiously rewriting the script.

  • The 6th Day

    The 6th Day

    ★★

    Come for the ethical discourse on human cloning. 

    Stay for the Donkey Kong 64 graphics, late 90s take on futuristic interior dec, and that scene where Arnold talks to Arnold.

  • The Postman

    The Postman

    ★★

    Braveheart but with USPS.
    Overshadowed by Waterworld two years later in 1997 but worth watching now because you can taste a post-apocalyptic America the night before the 2020 election.
    Woke up at one point in this 4 hour movie and noticed Tom Petty was in a scene, and I was like holy shit that’s Tom Petty!? Right? I googled it later, and I was right. Also Dolph Lundgren was in it but hell if I could find him. 
    It might’ve actually been 3 hours but still weirdly fun.

  • Guns Akimbo

    Guns Akimbo

    ★★

    Tryin rly hard to be satire about whatever. Video games? Technology? Gratuitous violence?

  • Alita: Battle Angel

    Alita: Battle Angel

    ★★

    really weeby

  • Avengers: Endgame

    Avengers: Endgame

    ★★

    like watching intergalactic paint dry.

  • Extinction

    Extinction

    ★★

    This feels like a first episode unnecessarily stretched out to set up for a greater story arc of a show. Apparently they forgot to make the rest of the show. It left me with so many questions!

  • Ghost in the Shell

    Ghost in the Shell

    ★★

    A really pretty movie which didn’t need to exist. Shame that so much high budget cg is wasted on remakes and making a white woman look slightly Asian. It’s great you could do that but really didn’t need to.

  • Bright

    Bright

    ★★

    Pretty confusing half-premise of a movie that never figures out where it’s headed. 
    I’d say it borrows some ideas from the wonderful comic book series Fable, but I don’t want to taint it by comparison. 
    Just read Fable instead.

  • Jurassic World

    Jurassic World

    ★★

    Forgettable garbage. 
    It was mostly a barrage of incomprehensible motives and decision making. The characters were terrible and my only wish was that they'd get eaten, but since they were on the movie poster, they'd make it all the way to the end. It never felt like its own movie, and pathetically clung to the original for some of those sweet nostalgic high fives, but it's best to leave em hanging and pretend you don't know them.

  • The Good Dinosaur

    The Good Dinosaur

    ★★

    There was just that one really great scene which lasted about a minute and it involved rotting fruit. Also the clouds and landscape were A++