Requiem for a Dream ★★★★★

Fuck.

Hits even way harder on a rewatch. The reason I have this way up on my Top 100 list is because it has every single aspect that defines why I love film as a medium. While this film may not be enjoyable, you can not deny how visceral, exhausting, and executed every single aspect is. This is without a doubt my favorite score of all time. The editing, the performances, the cinematography, the sheer subtlety, the themes, the pacing, and the way this becomes an out of body experience. This is what I love about art, what I love about movies. 

As someone who has had their own battles with being overweight this hit me like a ton of bricks. Luckily as of December of 2019, I have lost 85 lbs in a healthy and safe way. Sara Goldfarb resonates with me in such a way that no other character could ever. Everything is just so devastatIng to me. This movie reminded me how we all hold on to something or someone and once it is gone, we become destroyed. We are never the same. The memories, the people, the love all slowly fades away. 

Knowing how all the characters’ stories end there are so many instances were I was just pleading that they wouldn’t do what they did. But the tragedy is that there is no changing it. We can’t change what we are, who we are,  and what we cling onto. I can never put into words how much this movie means to me and how much I love film as a medium. Wouldn’t recommend watching if you can’t talk to your parents immediately after. 

This will probably be the only film ever made and ever will be made that stars Marlon Wayans and Jared Leto that will make me cry.

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