Neon Genesis Evangelion: The End of Evangelion ★★★★★

the movie: remember how Neon Genesis Evangelion dropped every single loose plot thread in favor of Shinji floating around in blackness and the themes of the series being repeatedly driven into your head? this makes up for that.

uhh... what?

"This is brutal! I'd rather be fighting the angels!"

this is gonna be really scattered because that's what this damn movie did to my brain.

my original thought was that, despite this movie (and series's) massive reputation for being confusing as fuck, i'd still be able to fully understand what this movie'd drop on me and reply with a sarcastic "B R A V O A N N O" review.

i'm happy to say that i'm only slightly confused by what happened. the sequence of events at least makes full sense... the issues i'm having is with how it happened. End of Evangelion has strikingly beautiful animation (it's amazing what you can do when you actually have a budget), and a big part of what makes it that way is how fucking weird it is. weird's a fucking understatement, actually, as far as giant naked rei is concerned at least.

i can at least confirm it's a perfect ending, especially when you compare it to the last two episodes of the series - this movie actually wraps up everyone's subplots! maybe wraps isn't the right word. no, wraps definitely isn't the right word. hope you're not emotionally connected to anyone (and after 26 episodes you definitely will be, ahahahahahaha) is all i'm saying.

what the fuck just happened? i feel like i'm spoiling everything by throwing around terms like "giant naked rei" and "primordial soup" but the only word there really spoiling anything is that rei is involved somehow and NO FUCKING WAY MAN MY LITTLE REI CAN'T POSSIBLY BE THIS CUTE (seriously, she was made to deconstruct moe and ended up looking absolutely adorable. at least until the dummy plug reveal. that shit was fucked up).

seriously though. back in august i vowed to watch at least 97 movies from the year 1997 because that's when i was born and this stood out the most to me on the list. i've spent almost 3 months slowly working my way through the series and starting to fill the anime void in my films, and at the end i get this. i'm not sure what the fuck to do now aside from watch more anime and get around to the rebuilds. i wasn't even sure what the fuck to do when watching this; was i confused? did i understand? was i in awe or absolutely disgusted at Unit-01 going in through a forehead vagina and out through an eyeball?

there's no way that last sentence doesn't disgust anyone who doesn't know what it means. but i know what it means and it's fucking cool. i'm pretty sure.

i have infinite fucking praise for this movie. the definitive mindfucker as far as i'm concerned. watch the series, watch this, it'll destroy you.

r.i.p. robin williams. will definitely watch more of your favorite annie mays.

(yesterday i refused to review 12 Years a Slave because of what happened in it and my intense emotional response. today i've written all of this about this movie because of what happened in it and my intense emotional response. confused wonder is easier to talk about than shocked disgust at least)

but seriously i can't review a movie made to end multiple hours of television. you want a substantial review, you take the mass of 5-star ratings for this movie on this site to heart, watch the whole series and this movie, come back, and realize that you pretty much agree with every word i just said.

"I'm so fucked up."

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