King of the molehill
The inverse of JAWS in that the bigger screen you watch this on, the worse it gets. Abysmal to a degree that I didn't admit to previously. Jason is absolutely the dumbest of all the slasher greats, and giving him essentially superpowers that liberate him from any kind of limitations within this film's narrative (and that's even BEFORE they turn him into the nanobot God of Space Death) make this film lost in space right from the beginning. Bottom-tier.
Put off watching this film for years given my queasiness over my expectation of this film's "naturalistic" depiction of the central disgusting subject matter (a nausea not similarly triggered by innumerable TEXAS CHAINSAW sequels, whose cannibalism is always more garnish than appetizer). This film was about the level of intensity I expected (somehow just as disgusting as I'd feared) but with a commitment in its performances I wasn't at all expecting. Smarter than it needed to be with its disgusting elements, and while I appreciate that, I won't be sitting down to watch this one ever again. Good heavens.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Parts 1 & 2 watched
“Is it the future? Or is it the past?”
A question that more remakes, revivals, reimaginings, re-re-re’s should grapple with and answer honestly. The expectations for a return to one of the most beloved and singular projects could not have been higher than for Twin Peaks, and The Return came at a time when nearly everything is being redone, re-adapted, or, more accurately, reanimated—with few ever bothering to ask what that says in the first place…