this is now a post-irony account

Favorite films

  • Hardcore Henry
  • The Book of Henry
  • Henry V
  • Regarding Henry

Recent activity

  • Hellbound: Hellraiser II


  • Spider-Man 3


  • Notorious


  • Spider-Man


Recent reviews

  • Spider-Man 3

    Spider-Man 3


    apologies but i cannot endorse the idea that this movie is "good"

    what i CAN say is that it made me scream "spiyda-man!" an inappropriate number of times and "oh SHIT" even more.

    it's a movie full of delights and surprises, one that does not contain anything we might call a "story", "character" or "setting"

    Hot Tobey arc still undefeated. one of the daffiest, campiest things a movie of this scale has ever done. it's getting a 3 for that alone

  • The Asphalt Jungle

    The Asphalt Jungle


    a hilarious film starring two kings named doc and dicks, and marilyn monroe giving a next-level masterclass in camp. yipe!

    launching onto the scene with that level of enthusiasm and self-assurance in your own star power before you're even famous...iconic...unmatched until vin saying he only shows his arms "in vin diesel movies"

Popular reviews