Black Christmas

Black Christmas

TL;DR: There’s an unironic joke reference to Kavanaugh’s ‘I like beer’ line.
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At face value, this is an above-average PG-13 horror movie. 

Then there’s everything else in this dumpster fire of a movie...

They threw a bunch of of-the-moment ideas about feminism, toxic masculinity, problematic history & campus rape into a blender and poured it over a genre movie with no consideration, nuance or grace. For a movie that is allegedly about “strong women” it features some of the least nuanced portrayals of a woman dealing with rape-triggered PTSD. It tonally makes Irreversible seem like 20th Century Women

This is a masterclass in invoking big issues while saying absolutely nothing. In fact, it’s outright offensive how poorly this movie handles such big, of the moment conversations. Men are bad. But not all men, duh, unless they are actually bad unless they’re under the spell of masculinity. And hey, removing statues from campus is bad but also creates a dangerous precedent by allowing some to determine the legacy of problematic people.

I’m not saying these are easy conversations with an easy answer. In fact, the one thing I’ll credit this movie with is, underneath it all, the movie seems to (inadvertently) acknowledge the gray area of these issues! Unfortunately, the way it acknowledges these gray areas is by having characters seemingly forget their own core values from scene-to-scene.

Beyond all that, though, the cinematography is ugly, inconsistent and grainy. If a freshman film student turned this in as a student project they’d get removed from their program. It’s wild how horrible it looked on a freaking AMC SCREEN. They make it look dark on all their screens to avoid this!!!

Anyway, it’s insane this exists. Truly insane. Everyone involved should be put in time out.

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