Favorite films

  • The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
  • Portrait of a Lady on Fire
  • Inside Llewyn Davis
  • Over the Garden Wall

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  • Pokémon Detective Pikachu

    ★½

  • Black Widow

    ★★★

  • The Wrong Missy

    ½

  • Hail, Caesar!

    ★★★

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  • Malcolm & Marie

    Malcolm & Marie

    ★½

    INT. NETFLIX HQ CONFERENCE ROOM

    SAM LEVINSON runs into the room and sits across the table from BLACK STUDIO EXEC and WHITE STUDIO EXEC.

    SAM LEVINSON
    Fucking, fuck. I’m sorry I’m so late!

    BLACK STUDIO EXEC
    That’s ok! We’re very excited to hear your pitch.

    WHITE STUDIO EXEC
    We’re MASSIVE fans of Euphoria.

    SAM LEVINSON
    Oh my goodness haha, thank you so much! Yeah sorry again, I lost track of time while I was punching this custom punching bag I…

  • An Empty House

    An Empty House

    Supporting a young artist by watching his first short film and leaving a review is scientifically proven to be more effective at combatting the coronavirus than hydroxychloroquine!

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  • Black Widow

    Black Widow

    ★★★

    Couldn’t believe how awful the editing was right from the start, tried counting how long shots were before cuts (only for a minute) and there wasn’t a single one longer than 3 seconds. Three seconds! Owie, my eyes! Ouch! 

    The script could’ve gone through a couple more drafts and the VFX were incredibly unfortunate as well but I had such a fun time. Florence Pugh is indomitable, thank you Florence…

  • Songbird

    Songbird

    “Remember the good old days of fake news? Real news is worse. Because any day the antibody test is coming. Antibody test? I signed up for that fucking shit three years ago. In a Burger King drive-thru. Guess what? Burger King’s gone!”

    I’m back in the same room I started the pandemic in, about a year later. Couldn’t tell you why I decided to watch this!

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  • Snakes on a Plane

    Snakes on a Plane

    ★½

    snake on boob 30 minutes in

    snake on penis 33 minutes in

  • Les Mistons

    Les Mistons

    i was having a conversation with my friend the other day about how she couldn’t believe that middle school boys could get so horny that they HAVE to masturbate in school bathrooms during class.

    i want to show her this short film about little boys being so collectively horny that they inadvertently will the death of their competition into existence with their collective horniness.