• Malignant

    Malignant

    ★★

    i ended up taking a shot for every line of expositional dialog spoken—and needless to say, i was zooted rather quickly. so when MALIGNANT eventually goes full-tilt, i warmed up quite a bit to it. unfortunately, it doesn’t really stick the landing. still a fun watch nonetheless! might revisit just to see some of that mad gabriel action.

  • Halloween

    Halloween

    ★★★★★

    listen, the jack o’ lantern stays LIT during sex!

  • Josie and the Pussycats

    Josie and the Pussycats

    ★★★★

    a soft-boiled BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, with john carpenter on the brain?? not thoughts i was expecting to have going into this, but i’m pleasantly shocked nevertheless! i’m less enamored with the filmmaking in JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS, and more with the mere existence of this thing. who was asking for this movie in 2001?? how did this even get greenlit?? the answers don’t matter. is it a bit troublesome in spots? sure. but considering the time this came out, forget it. this is just a bonkers fun movie, with far more on its mind than anyone would probably expect. long live parker posey!

  • Cutter's Way

    Cutter's Way

    ★★★★★

    kind of blown away with this one. the level of realism applied here is staggering—perfectly balancing the everyday lives of these characters with the dark conspiracies they build in their minds. bridges, heard, and eichhorn are all doing some of their best work here too. really engaging stuff.

  • The Fog

    The Fog

    ★★★★★

    the combined visual style of carpenter and cundey is incomparable. the mood is as thick as that fog.

  • Freddy vs. Jason

    Freddy vs. Jason

    ★★★

    good ol’ nostalgic fun! you have to sit through some seriously rough stuff for a while, but that final third makes up for a whole hell of a lot. i still remember being mad at my parents as a kid for seeing this and not letting me join. it feels odd being able to pop in the blu-ray without worrying that i’ll get in trouble!

  • Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

    Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

    ★★★★

    the entry in the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise that i was dreading to watch the most—and to my surprise, i kind of loved it??? it’s bananas! pure nonsense, but seemingly self-aware. the kills are disgusting in this, and the filmmaking is pretty solid too. there’s not much i have in terms of serious complaints.

    jason be damned!

  • Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

    Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

    an hour and 40 minutes? kiss my ass.

  • The Trip

    The Trip

    ★★★★★

    i’ve loved the electric flag’s score for this since i was a kid, but for some reason i never got around to seeing the film itself. this blew my expectations out of the water! dig it.

  • Candyman

    Candyman

    ★★

    they should’ve replaced that hook hand with a spoon, since the exposition was being shoved into my mouth as if i was a tiny little baby boy. and i was already too full by the 30 minute mark. obviously lots of great concepts at play here, but the execution was too messy to mine something truly profound, unfortunately. this reboot isn’t without its high points, but at the end of the day, all i wanted to do was revisit the original CANDYMAN. that’s not the sentiment i was hoping to leave with.

  • Mulholland Drive

    Mulholland Drive

    ★★★★★

    in dreams i walk with you
    in dreams i talk to you
    in dreams you're mine all of the time
    we’re together in dreams, in dreams

  • Unfriended: Dark Web

    Unfriended: Dark Web

    ★★★★

    this takes the general concept of UNFRIENDED and basically applies the “what if *that*, but better” approach—with shocking success. the stakes aren’t only higher, but more tangible. the cyber-horror isn’t supernatural anymore. it’s real, and wholly malevolent. where the original film relies on character melodrama to keep us invested, DARK WEB relies mostly on building dread. a feeling mined from the inevitable doom these characters fall prey to. there’s no control or escape.