Jizzmonkey

Jizzmonkey

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Favorite films

  • Somewhere
  • Mulholland Drive
  • Uncut Gems
  • Blade Runner

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  • Paterson

    ★★★

  • Rachel Getting Married

    ★★★★

  • Benedetta

    ★★★

  • The Aviator

    ★★★

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  • Inception

    Inception

    Watching this trash film was a toil, and I don't wish to waste additional time writing criticism on it. I will, however, draw attention to DiCaprio's spectacular hair, which is not in any way boring, disjointed, or derivative, or lacking in character development, or a mishmash of Nolan nonsense interspersed with gratuitous violence and gunplay.

  • Jennifer's Body

    Jennifer's Body

    Amanda Seyfried and Megan Fox lick each other's tongues, and some other stuff happens too.

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  • Paterson

    Paterson

    When will,
    This fucking
    Movie:
    Be OveR?
    I ask just anyone in this dimension.

    But Then.
    I even somehow quite Like it,
    Because I've got,
    Nothing else to do.
    And a cute dog in it: Too.

    And then time marches on,
    And the fucking thing's over.
    Thank Christ.
    But Jizz lovers,
    I kindA liked it enough.

    Enough to wriTe my own poem,
    Within a poem.
    Brought to you by
    Dry sherry,
    And everlasting reciprocal love:

    Jizz writes only poetry,
    Poetry only writes Jizz.

  • Rachel Getting Married

    Rachel Getting Married

    Great film. Fucking annoying wedding.

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