Jeremy has written 16 reviews for films rated ★★ during 2017.

  • Kingsman: The Golden Circle

    Kingsman: The Golden Circle

    ★★

    That John Denver's full of shit, man. (So is this movie.)

  • The Hitman's Bodyguard

    The Hitman's Bodyguard

    ★★

    That poster spoofing The Bodyguard was funnier than the movie.

  • Victoria & Abdul

    Victoria & Abdul

    ★★

    Can't believe they didn't fuck.

  • Downsizing

    Downsizing

    ★★

    A compelling premise is not the same thing as a compelling story.

  • Darkest Hour

    Darkest Hour

    ★★

    This is just two hours of Gary Oldman in heavy makeup and a fat suit shouting and bloviating in order to win his Oscar, but with the added bonus of having one of the worst scenes I have ever witnessed in a film of this type.

    In a key moment, Churchill darts out of a cab to take the tube for the very first time, wherein he introduces himself to the passengers on the train and asks them if they…

  • Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

    Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

    ★★

    Frances McDormand is so good in this that people are ignoring all the bad around her, which is basically everything else. The screenplay has way too many contrivances and coincidences; nothing anyone does has any consequences; and the dialogue is often hilariously obvious (Frances literally yells "I hope you get raped!" at her daughter in the one flashback of her). Martin McDonagh thought of a premise and setting and forgot to fill it in with a story and believable characters.

    Gonna go watch In Bruges for the 50th time and never think about this bad movie again, bye.

  • Annabelle: Creation

    Annabelle: Creation

    ★★

    The witch in The Conjuring and the nun in The Conjuring 2 were legit scary. The doll in these Annabelle movies is...not.

  • The Fate of the Furious

    The Fate of the Furious

    ★★

    JFC, this felt longer than Charlize Theron's fake white-lady dreads. The enduring appeal of this franchise escapes me.

  • The Boss Baby

    The Boss Baby

    ★★

    I could not explain the plot of this if my life depended on it. And tbh all the jokes about HR, getting fired and severance packages were just too real.

  • Battle of the Sexes

    Battle of the Sexes

    ★★

    One of those well-intentioned movies that is (sadly) actually kinda bad. Emma Stone in a wig and glasses and Steve Carell with bad fake teeth and sideburns aren't enough to convince they're playing these real life people, living out this pivotal real life moment. And as a tennis fan can I just say the matches in this movie are HORRIFICALLY shot? Choppy editing, copious reaction shots, zero tension. A disappointment.

  • The Little Hours

    The Little Hours

    ★★

    Gentle reminder that even the most talented actors/comedians generally need a functional screenplay to make a good movie.

  • mother!

    mother!

    ★★

    Darren Aronofsky's "Look What You Made Me Do".