The Shallows ★★

This was a bit of a let down.

The director claims he just wants to make entertaining films. What have I seen of his? Orphan. Yep, great stuff. But then again he also remade House Of Wax. Look how that turned out.

Thing is, The Shallows doesn't work because there isn't a lot of shark action. What about characters? Yeah! It could've worked if i'd liked the characters, but I really felt a disconnect. All I know about the main woman is she spends too much time on her phone when in absolutely breath taking tropical locations, whilst the film obnoxiously throws her texts and web searches on screen.

I can tolerate this stuff in say a Mission Impossible movie, but when they're throwing technology about the place in a shark thriller, it really just loses a lot of the appeal. There's no need for this much technology in a creature feature of this sort.

Anyhoo, if it was her and the Mexican guy she's with at the beginning, and there was less phones and shit, maybe i'd care more. Say if he was stranded on the rock, and she was stranded on the... the wotsit... shit why do I always forget the names of things when it comes to checking in to the films I watch.

But yeah, if it was them trying to work out an escape, i'd be far more interested.

Plus The Shallows just felt like typical Sony to me. Typical Sony camerawork, on typical Sony cameras. A typical Sony production with the typical Sony bollocks. Sony are shite.

But hey, I gave it two stars for a reason?

Sharks and the occasional bit of sharky violence.

And for future reference cinema, unless your title is Mission Impossible, dumb down the in your face technology please.

Now... where's my copy of Deep Blue Sea at.

Joel 'Ardcore liked this review