Jordan Geelhoed

Jordan Geelhoed

Is calling a girl “shorty” still cool?

Favorite films

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  • No Country for Old Men

    ★★★★★

  • The Last Duel

    ★★★½

  • Nightmare Alley

    ★★★½

  • Jennifer's Body

    ★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • No Country for Old Men

    No Country for Old Men

    ★★★★★

    This is one of the few movies I consider to be perfect because BRUH JUST LOOK AT IT it is so good. Like I literally don’t know how they could’ve made it better, not a single scene, shot, or character feels out of place. The Coens are some of my favorite directors and they’ve got some absolute heaters in their filmography, but I think this might be their best one. Them paired with Roger Deakins is a match made in…

  • The Last Duel

    The Last Duel

    ★★★½

    I was really hoping that one of the two Ridley Scott directed movies this year would blow me away, either this or House of Gucci, and I already watched the latter which I thought was just fine, so I had to give The Last Duel a whirl to see if I liked it more. And I thought it was a pretty good movie. Didn’t think it was amazing or anything, but I thought it was well-made with an interesting structure and…

Popular reviews

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  • No Time to Die

    No Time to Die

    ★★★★

    I’m gonna do a joke I’m sure no one has ever told before— I disagree with the title, 2 hours and 43 minutes is actually quite a lot of time to die. Oh my God thank you thank you I’ll be here all week!
    But nah I really enjoyed this movie, thought it brought the Craig era of Bond to an end with a bang. For as much as he seems to hate doing Bond movies based on all the…

  • Jennifer's Body

    Jennifer's Body

    ★★★★

    Bruh this shit is awesome. I’ve never given Jennifer’s Body a chance because of its marketing— it just seemed like the type of movie I wouldn’t enjoy, like some cheap trashy horror movie sold off the sex appeal of Megan Fox. But after hearing good things about it in recent years, I see its merits now and I actually thought this was a really good movie. Also I now realize that the marketing is part of why this movie failed…