Jordan Pickens’s review published on Letterboxd:
I really love the original Black Christmas. It’s one of my very favorite flicks. It strikes a beautiful balance of creep factor, genuine humor and is truly ahead of it’s time. Now, I don’t mind remakes, I tend to give them a fair shake. Who cares if someone fucks it all up? The original will still exist in all its glory and best case scenario, we get a great remake as well (see Evil Dead). I would not call this film a remake. They share the same title, but have very few things in common. There’s a white fluffy cat and a crystal unicorn (that’s not used). That about all they have in common. I really do think this film could use a great modern take, but this isn’t it. It doesn’t even try to be it.
I dig a film that attempts to tackle social issues and makes you view your world differently . Yet this film uses no sense of nuance. There’s no symbolism or allegory. It just bashes you over the head with its message. I must say, this is the most predictable flick I’ve seen in a long bit. I could and did guess every scene before it happened. There’s truly no twist, it just happens as expected. Whoops! I walked into a “hazing ritual” that looks like some sort of sorcery induction. Of course they're going to be the killers!
The PG-13 gore was boring even for PG-13. There was nothing that even resembled gore. I think TV-14 shows get away with showing more blood. There’s also literally nothing scary or thrilling throughout its runtime. I advise skipping this one.
I watched this simply because my favorite podcast We’ll See You In Hell is reviewing it and it was on HBO. Can’t wait to listen!
1/2 star bump for the prettiest white fluffy cat I’ve seen.
1 Making a snow angel as you die out of 5