Army of the Dead

Army of the Dead ★★½

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

This was like so. close. to being good. But there was just too much I couldn't overlook.

It's way, way, way too long. And it's partially that way because it's one movie with another, oh, quarter-to-half-baked idea dumped on top of it. You wanna make a zombie movie that's Ocean's 11 meets Escape from New York? I'm 100% there.

Snyder already had a great idea with that concept alone. But adding on all of this absurd alpha (no surprises there) zombie social structure; the be-caped, helmet-wearing KING OF THE ZOMBIES; and his PREGNANT ZOMBIE WIFE—I mean, he just should've flushed all of that. Every last trace of that shit. It's completely laughable and takes you right out of an otherwise enjoyable heist/zombie mash-up. Nothing about any of it works.

Cinematography-wise, the shallow focus was really obnoxious. When your movie is close to 2 1/2 hours and most of it looks like an overblown iPhone Portrait Mode photo, that's a huge problem.

Absolutely confounding soundtrack choices. Tracks range wildly from "straight-up bad choice" to "that's not as funny as you think it is."

On the "it's too long" jag, you didn't need random moves like having Ana de la Reguera's character stop everything dead to profess her love for Dave Bautista's character for no reason.

And on the FUCK YOU jag, could we not with Sean Spicer and Donna Brazile? Come on...

To say a few nice things: it's Snyder's best movie in years. It's never boring, that's for sure. For all the problems I had, including it being too long, I was never bored. Good visual effects. I liked the look of the film, not how it was shot, but the production design itself. (Although, I guess another gripe is that I wanted to know more about the world apart from just what was going on around the Las Vegas area.) Dave Bautista continues to be a captivating and interesting actor, so I was glad to see him carrying a film like this.

Oh, and Tig Notaro was far and away the best damn part.

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