Favorite films

  • House
  • Devil Story
  • The Queen of Black Magic
  • The Night Sitter

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  • Frankenhooker

    ★★★★★

  • Vivarium

    ★★★

  • Future-Kill

    ★★★

  • Bio Slime

    ★★★

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  • Skeleton Man

    Skeleton Man

    ★★★★★

    Skeleton man jumps through portals on ponies and F@!&*s shit up.
    He doesn’t need to identify himself.  HE IS SKELETON MAN.  He shoots arrows and crashes helicopters!  Skeleton man will pull a skull out of your chest!  MFN’ SKELETON MAN.

    *random stock video footage of eagle*

    Skeleton man can outrun rocket launchers.  Skeleton man is impervious to bullets.  Skeleton man will slowly pick off people in your special forces crew in ridiculously fun and gory ways.  

    Does the plot…

  • The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

    The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    In my mind the greatest cinematic achievement of all time is the 1974 Tobe Hooper classic, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  Wow.  A lot going on in those last few frames.  Vietnam, watergate, the invention of the pill, the white album.  Has there ever been a more perfect weapon of destruction?  Yes, Sally survives in the end, but does she?  Aren’t we all running from the chainsaws in our past?  See you next Tuesday.

    Wes Gardener
    Scream Queens

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  • Future-Kill

    Future-Kill

    ★★★

    This is some period trash.  With a total of four pointless slow motion scenes and a bonkers soundtrack, a group of frat boys being hazed put on their best David Bowie makeup and head to “the bad part of town” to jump some thug on the street as a dare, but instead they inadvertently run into a huge half metal dude named Splatter.  There’s a posse of punks.  The rest of the movie is basically just chasing, with the inclusion of a fairly cool concert scene.  

    Fake blood score: 1

  • Brazen

    Brazen

    ★½

    Everything about this felt like a cheesy fantastical Lifetime Movie.

    Incredibly predictable and not believable.

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  • Willy's Wonderland

    Willy's Wonderland

    ★★★★

    Here we find Nic caged up in a children’s entertainment restaurant working to pay off some debt recently acquired from a car accident. His task is to stay there overnight and clean, and then he gets his car back the next morning. We never doubt his commitment to sparkle. Motion and music fill the atmosphere as he changes tee shirts, drinks energy drinks, cleans, plays pinball, and kills... animatronic robots.

    It’s a fun movie and it’s refreshing to see a…

  • Faust: Love of the Damned

    Faust: Love of the Damned

    ★★★½

    An odd menagerie of splooge and blood covered practical effects with a few randomly edited flash backs, some sex, a bulbous blob of boobs and booty, demonic worship, and a bunch of fight scenes with overly loud blaring metal.  Fun stuff.