Sam Morril: I Got This

Sam Morril: I Got This ★★★★★

• Gay porn star banned from porn sites because of Nazi tattoos. "This doesn't really align with our values. We're kind of a family here at gangfuck.net."
• Long-time listener, first-time knocker.
• Wearing a condom is like doing volunteer work. During it, "This kinda sucks," but then afterwards I'm always thinking, "Good for me." I do it for the kids.
• Every mass shooter: "It was a very quiet man." That should be part of the background check for guns. "You want this gun, you better be fuckin' chatty."
• California has a 10-day wait for a gun. A gun should never be an impulse buy. You should never be returning a gun like, "Yeah, we made up."
• We used to be Al-Qaeda, now we're just Sigma Chi. The objective is still virgins.
• I wonder if murderers watch true crime like, "This is pretty disappointing."
• "Get some more Botox, you lizard." She seemed furious. I couldn't tell by her face, but she seemed very upset.
• The White Knight.