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  • Double Trouble

    Double Trouble

    ★½

    The Barbarian Brothers should have been in every movie and Hollywood should go back and CGI them into every movie ever made. Who was piloting that rocket into the Moon's face? That's right, The Barbarian Brothers. It's what Georges Méliès would have wanted.

  • The Beastmaster

    The Beastmaster

    ★★

    The only thing that could unite the country again is a new Beatmaster movie.

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  • Guyver: Dark Hero

    Guyver: Dark Hero

    ★★★

    Sometimes you need to see Solid Snake beat up people in goofy monster costumes. It's bonkers there hasn't been a mediocre big budget reboot of the Guyver franchise.

  • Die Hard

    Die Hard

    ★★★

    We need a Die Hard prequel where Ellis successfully negotiates his way out of a terrorist incident in the Cayman Islands showing why he had such unearned confidence.