• The Full Monty

    The Full Monty

    ★★★★

    I say this with my whole chest........ this should have beat titanic for best picture........... titanic wishes it was half as groundbreaking....

  • Gerald's Game

    Gerald's Game

    ★★★½

    Carla Gugino if you’re reading this I am free any day you want once again I am free whenever you want

  • Hugo

    Hugo

    ★★★★

    sacha baron cohen in blue uniform with mustache sexy as fuck send review

  • Malcolm & Marie

    Malcolm & Marie

    ★½

    zendaya and john david.... babies........ I’m so sorry sam l*vinson did that to you :(

  • Private Life

    Private Life

    ★★★★

    kathryn hahn please let me give you my eggs, I don’t need them

  • The Sound of Music

    The Sound of Music

    ★★★★★

    Every time Maria and the captain made eye contact I was like 😳😨👀 this is some Horny Cinema™️ explicit sexual tension and sensuality unfit for the eyes of children 🚫🚫🚫 but I do be looking tho 👁👁

  • In the Cut

    In the Cut

    ★★★

    if a male lead in a jane campion film gonna do 2 things on screen, it’s go full frontal and eat pussy

  • The Savages

    The Savages

    ★★★½

    Greatest all time screen siblings me thinks

  • The Squid and the Whale

    The Squid and the Whale

    ★★★

    K I gave noah baumbach enough of a chance and............. his movies just scream “my parents divorce affected me profoundly” but in different fonts........ I just cannot be bothered

  • Holmes & Watson

    Holmes & Watson

    ★½

    I......................... really dislike will ferrell............ but i love john c. reilly so do with that what you will..............

  • Cold War

    Cold War

    ★★★★★

    Masterfully transcends the boundaries of language to tell an unflinchingly raw and passionate love story, perfectly captures the complexities of social and political turmoil across time and space and evokes a stunning depth and range of emotion. All in *checks notes* 88 minutes????.......🤯

  • Man on the Moon

    Man on the Moon

    ★★★½

    Brb faking my death