The Haunting of Hill House

The Haunting of Hill House ★★★★½

I don't think I made one joke through the entirety of this show. Truth be told, I have a faint memory of myself saying "you look dusty" under my breath, maybe in the first episode or the second, but I'm not sure if I even said that then or if I'm making it up now. I know this sounds unimportant, but to me, someone who constantly makes jokes about every little thing, the fact that I barely made one through a whole 10 episode season of a new show is intriguing. Like, what about this show hindered my joking capabilities? Was it the tone, the subject matter, were there just no opportunities apart from that one moment where somebody apparently perhaps looked "dusty"? Seems unlikely. 

But I think what I'm trying to say is, I barely had any thoughts of my own whilst watching this show. I was too busy spiralling in the show's thoughts, there was no room for me to breathe, or to think anything else of my own. I forgot everything inside my own brain. I didn't have time to use humour as a coping mechanism nor the desire to because I was too caught up in the Crain's and their own methods of coping. I remember one instance where I stood up to stretch and said the word "shite" out loud, but other than that I barely had any reaction. Which is so strange, as before I watched it I saw tweets about the physical reactions people were having, and for me to do nothing? I'm sure my eyes welled up once, but other than that, I showed no signs of watching this show. If someone had looked through my window and saw my face, was I watching this show or was I staring at a wall? They would never have known. It's like Theo described; that lack of feeling, that nothing for the whole 10 episodes. But now after it's over, my feelings are starting to flood in, the sadness, the frustration, the admiration. Somehow the show passed that feeling of nothing to me for the time it took me to watch it, like I had reached out, pulled my gloves off and touched it's skin, and became consumed with the nothing. 

This all sounds daunting, I realise, reading it back, but I by no means intend for this to sound like a bad thing. I think it's beyond special the show was able to pass on that sensation of darkness it was describing to a viewer. Maybe I would've preferred to have verbal reactions, screams, real crying, jokes, like those on twitter seem to have had. But I'm content with my experience because it was like no other I've had watching a show. I simply pressed next episode, and took it all in without feeling the blow, because the characters did that for me. I didn't need to cry because they were crying. I didn't need to make an awkward joke to cope because Steve did that for me. I didn't need to scream because they did that for me. I was simple a bystander in it all, in that whole big mess, in that huge fucking terrifying house; like a ghost watching in the corridor.

UHH that was all kinda incoherent babble, so just forget it and concentrate on this: watch this show. It's great. Thanks 4 reading! Now I have to wait for my washing to be done so I can go down to the lower ground floor on my own to collect it at 10pm after watching this! Yay!

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