Titanic ★½

I think we're supposed to admire Kate Winslet for having terrific moxie or something, but really all she does is yell about how no one can tell her what to do and then just does whatever Leonardo DiCaprio tells her to do. (Sometimes he tells her things like this: "You're so stupid! Why did you do that? You're so stupid, Rose!!!" and "SSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH.") Watching Titanic for the third time for the purposes of my book, I could not wait to get to the second half and watch these motherfuckers drown.

(This review is excerpted from my new book Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema, available October 2020, and used with permission from the publisher. You should preorder it!)