Twilight ★★★

One thing you can say about Twilight is that it is not boring. There are a billion characters, they’re always saying some crazy shit, and they’re SO HORNY! It took me out of my body in a way that did not give me pleasure but did give me fascination, and when it was over I couldn’t believe it but I felt compelled to watch the next one.

Twilight kept me awake, which honestly is more than I can say for Top Gun.

(This review is excerpted from my new book Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema, available October 2020, and used with permission from the publisher. I think you should preorder it!)