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  • Dune

    Dune

    ★★

    Hey guys

    Hey

    Guys

    hey guys

    What the fuck was all this?

  • The New Mutants

    The New Mutants

    The first 50 minutes of the movie reminded me of Cats, in that characters just took turns introducing themselves and sharing their backstory.

    The last 40 minutes of the movie were so butchered and just desperately scraping together a climax that I forgot how much racism happened fast and furious in the first 50. Just Anya Taylor Joy's character using one pathetic grade school slur after another because she's.... a bad girl? I guess?

    In many ways it was as…

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  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    A masturbatory, self-congratulatory movie that tries to signal that it is "elevated" horror by being unbearably long, super drab, and trying really hard to avoid the elements that make the genre effective. This movie sucked so bad oh my god. I was by no means a huge fan of the original but holy shit at least it was concise.

    The wigs were an inexcusably sad excuse to try to hide the fact that it wasn't Dakota Johnson dancing. The use…

  • Hereditary

    Hereditary

    ★½

    I hated it so much.

    This is going to be a wildly unpopular opinion but here we go. signed up for a horror movie and got 75% a Melancholia-esque movie about the misery of life a woman's role as inter-generational caregiver (both mother and daughter) while suffering from inter-generational mental illness and 25% a horror film. It was an endlessly depressing slog, which is not what I signed up for based on the trailer. It was not scary. It did…