Favorite films

  • The Devils
  • The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover
  • Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
  • 3 Women

Recent activity

  • Shooting Bond


  • Spectre


  • Skyfall


  • Quantum of Solace


Recent reviews

  • House of Gucci

    House of Gucci

    It’s a rare occasion that I make it out to the cinemaaa which makes it even more regrettable when I would walk out on a movie for the first time in a little under three years. It’s no less surprising and unfortunate considering the star power that Ridley Scott of all directors managed to assemble for such a lethargic and unstylish deep dive into a real world story of a conniving fashion empire rife with avarice, greed, and even murder.…

  • The Suicide Squad

    The Suicide Squad

    The Suicide Squad live action franchise is shaping up to be one of the least self-aware clusters of polyps in the gaping anus of comic book movies. I don't know what wave-length of douchey dipshit you have to be on to passively enjoy a movie like this, but I assume it's amongst the same demographic of hand-sniffers that love The Kingsman movies or who think that The Boondock Saints wasn't that bad. Up to this point, I've been fairly ambivalent…

Popular reviews

  • Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    Beloved character Nude Scaramanga has returned for another entry in J.K. Rowling’s distended cinematic universe as Doctor Who-ry Potter in Blandtastic Queefs: Donaldtrump Grumblekin’s Series of Plantagenet Misdeeds. In this dreck-citing shit-eration of the lucrative franchise, Johnny Depp does his best impression of David Bowie humanizing Hitler while Eddie Redmayne, crippled by social anxiety disorder, bumbles about, mumbling, stumbling upon fantastical CG creatures while people either murder babies or reminisce about babies dying. There is a lot of child death…

  • Annihilation



    In the ever increasingly difficult task of keeping science fiction fresh there are bound to be a few casualties. I did not expect director Alex Garland would disappoint with his follow up to 2014's Ex Machina, but Annihilation is the very definition of a sophomore slump. Much like another audacious but vacuous sci-fi outing, Inception, the film boasts dazzling visuals in service to a thin plot that's lacking any semblance of an emotional core. A cool concept is squandered in…