Army of the Dead

Army of the Dead ★★

Zack, why is this movie two and a half hours long? Was a four hour long Justice League movie not enough? Why is the opening credit sequence not good? You're supposed to be good at those. Why do all the actors act like they don't give a shit? Why is most of the dialogue exposition? Zack? Zack?

Vague spoilers: there's one death in this movie that I guess is supposed to be shocking in how abrupt and sudden it is, but man was it unintentionally hilarious. Like, I like the idea, but the execution is so fucking funny. You know what I'm talking about. Maybe if I cared about that character it would've been more effective, but I don't care about any of these characters. They're all underdeveloped and annoying in their own different ways, and the film's not stylish enough to make up for it like 300.

And just when I thought it was at least going to have a pretty nice ending with a very beautiful final shot... it kept going, and totally blew it.

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