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  • Robin and the Dreamweavers

    Robin and the Dreamweavers

    This is the single most inexplicable work of animation I've ever seen. This has grave meaning for anyone who knows just how much bad and obscure animation that I have suffered through. There are dozens of ways I could TRY to describe this cultural hematoma, but none would quite give it full justice. I'll just leave you, then, with one of many:

    What if "Twinkle Nora Rock Me!" was produced by... *shudders* the Dutch?

  • Mortal Kombat

    Mortal Kombat

    ★½

    This movie is bad in annoying, easily avertable ways... But Kabal was really tight, he was straight out of a Kamen Rider movie

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  • Earwig and the Witch

    Earwig and the Witch

    ★★★

    From its inception, Earwig and the Witch was destined to be a punching bag. Not only is it Studio Ghibli's first CG feature, but it's directed by anime's favorite failson: Goro Miyazaki. It can be fun (in a cruel, schadenfreude-laced way) to read Hayao Miyazaki's terse, backhanded comments about his son's career. The negative press that swirled around the internet even after the first screengrabs were shared seemed to damn this film to be a perpetual laughing stock. However, I…

  • Lupin the Third: The First

    Lupin the Third: The First

    ★★★★★

    Japanese CG Animation has had a long, bumpy history. The mega-bomb of Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within at the turn of the millennium set back the nascent industry by years. As Japanese CG studios grew and experimented, they obsessively reiterated on the hyper-realism that Spirits Within failed to bring to the global stage. After a decade of animating Gundam OVAs and Final Fantasy FMVs with plasticine skin and glossy neon hair, they finally saw success. The movies now released by…