Edge of Tomorrow ★★★

i enjoy the prospect of these types of movies being good, i enjoy the prospect of many things. i enjoy the idea of groundhog days and emily blunt holding a big sword whilst she calls me names. i enjoy the idea of tom cruise running to places with wet eyes and a time limit and his missing family members swinging over a shark and piranha and lion and electric eel infested water tank as the lustful bites of starved predators inch closer and closer to the slowly descending platform they're tied to. i would watch tom cruise run anywhere, really.


usually i'm not a big fan of oversized robo-alien-whatevers fighting and explo— no wait, yes i am. it's what i dropped out of high school to pursue. and though i prefer the merciless endings of rubble strewn with the heroes teeth and hair as opposed to the it-was-the-best-of-times-it-was-the-blurst-of-times third act upbeatness it's nothing an old grouch can't forgive, hollywood have their quotas to fill, and god bless 'em, the cleanshirts did alright. cool volatile film-segways whilst the production company titlecards play are the next big thing, fellas, buy low sell high, yadda yadda yadda.


There are spinny swindley erratic monster things that look like the type of things you'd find at the bottom of the ocean after your oxygen tank has already begun to aggressively flash with blindingly red incomprehensible warning lights, there are eruptions and reflections and acids and alkalis meet for tea in the centre of it all. They are filled with lava and hatred and black tar and student loans, they're bad and baby, they know it. And the clouds and smoke come together like a cobweb on an unwilling humans face with an unrestricted tinge of apocalypse that bleeds into any eyeball that cares to look.


and it sort of felt like i had sixteen different programmes running simultaneously and there was music playing out of one of them, and i couldna figure out which it were emanating from, the alien sounds that made nonsensical movements, its elusiveness began to pacify my electrons and i stopped caring about the abrupt intrusions and started saying "shit, yeah, i love this album."


And he dies and he wakes and he dies and he wakes and he says "oh death death death, why must you play your reindeer games on today of all days. to think, i was just two days away from retirement."