• Highway to Hell

    Highway to Hell

    ★★★★

    My life is pretty much dedicated to searching for these gratuitous 80’s treasure chests. Found one, mom!

    Highway to Hell is everything I’ve ever dreamed- it’s mostly an identical twin to Nothing But Trouble, dead ass serious about that, but filmed on location in the deserts between wherever and Las Vegas, because this is a road trip to Vegas movie 😍🥰

    Also heavy on the similarities to The Hitcher, Mad Max Road Warrior, Freaked- this Highway is nestled in the…

  • Bad Dreams

    Bad Dreams

    ★★★

    Literally Nightmare on Elm Street Dream Warriors starring one of the cast members (addiction punk girl) along side EG Daily, Bruce Abbott, and Richard Lynch as Freddy. Just replace child murder with cult suicide and dreams with…suicide…>_>

    I didn’t say it was good, but it was super comforting to see these horror and 80s alum together in a decently filmed post Freddy world

  • The Witch

    The Witch

    ★½

    We get some elevation from a BUNCH of stage dragons and frogs and stuff. That was fun.

  • The Innocents

    The Innocents

    ★★★★★

    Parts of Night of The Hunter, parts of The Shining, parts of To Kill A Mocking Bird. I can’t describe what else. I can’t believe what I just saw with my own two eyes

    I noticed the sound design first, the cinematography next. The tight as a lock script. Her face journeys were terrifying and something wasn’t adding up

    Just…my god. Talk about horror

  • Paranormal Activity

    Paranormal Activity

    ★★★★

    I’m sorry. This was released in 18 theaters across America without a trailer and I went with friends not knowing what film we were seeing. I couldn’t sleep by myself for 12 days. I saw it when it had a wider release, same theater, people were so scared, couples were cowering into each other in front of me. A petition online won the film an official theater release and everyone said the movie sucked.

    Last night I watched it with…

  • Lisa and the Devil

    Lisa and the Devil

    ★★

    Ugh. I admit this had me for about 10 minutes. This lady wanders away from her vacationing party and gets lost down stone paths around a market place. She is SCREAMING bloody murder before she gets help.

    Then for 10 more minutes when everybody goes to this mansion where an adult man waxes poetic and cries like a child about wanting to be free and to love. He does everything except clutch his mother’s dress as she walks. Terrible film, but if you watch it, do it for Maximillion. Apparently he’s lonely.

  • In Fabric

    In Fabric

    I can’t wipe the grimace off my face. This movie was so bad I actually can’t believe it.

    I’d been dying to see it since it was released, but gee whiz bananas, a friend even said it was their favorite movie of the year moments ago.

    A woman buys a dress from a department store and nothing means anything and then a guy gets it and it doesn’t matter and the store doesn’t matter and I hate it 🤷‍♀️ Do not watch

  • Subspecies

    Subspecies

    ★★★

    Something was going on with early 90’s Vampires. Subspecies is nothing like Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and yet, awfully similar when we get down to it.

    3 gorgeous girls are researching around a castle, a super hunky guy shows up, he’s the kid brother in a vampire family with wild hair styles. His brother rips (squeezes actually) his finger tips off to create cgi blood clot monsters.

    I really enjoyed this film 💁‍♀️
    And there’s 4 sequels 👀

  • The Visitants

    The Visitants

    Nah

    It’s just Sharknado. Same guy who did Hobgoblins. Aliens who argue about directions to Earth while reading newspapers, high school science lab, a drive in, a Halloween party. I know it sounds great, but this isn’t The Room, it’s Sharknado.

  • The Kiss of the Vampire

    The Kiss of the Vampire

    I literally hate Hammer Horror

    This was recommended at a convention and I trusted that maybe there could be a swinging 60’s aspect, but it’s just so straightforward, and so painfully boring. I tried and failed to find details to enjoy through this film.

    The plot itself did nothing but sting a bit- newlyweds attend a lavish party only to wake up and the husband is told he never had a wife and is sent away. Just dull otherwise

  • The Dead Center

    The Dead Center

    ★★½

    So very pointless.

    Someone really went out there and said, let’s take the interesting emotional cop on a discovery into the underbelly of the occult and make him a side character to the uninspired storyline of the helpful therapist at a hospital, that does nothing to patient zero, who also does nothing. It felt like the whole film was just the opening scene to a movie that never began.

    Skip. Filmed and color corrected prettily, but skip.

  • Arachnid

    Arachnid

    ★★★

    I liked this!! I mean it’s directed by Jack Sholder and produced by Brian Yuzna so I’m not sure why I doubted it, but I think it’s better than the beloved Mosquito if I had to compare. …or maybe I need to rewatch Mosquito idk

    We do have the quintessential hunky explorer who follows the sexy pilot when she goes to pee in the jungle to tell her to be careful and then she falls in a hole and says…