Humanity didn't deserve this miracle of a film back in 2011, and it certainly doesn't deserve it now.
But I'll be forever grateful that it exists.
HarrietTubmanGotHelpFromTheTransformers / 10
Much like how the new season of TWIN PEAKS is David Lynch at his most uncompromised, TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT is pure Michael Bay. It doesn't have an R rating to "allow" consistent f-bombs, geysers of blood and necrophiliac misogyny like BAD BOYS II, though this series has made a complete joke out of the MPAA for so long that it doesn't even matter. Besides, if the total perversion of a children's toy franchise doesn't fit right…
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
So let me get this straight...
You expect me to sit through a bland-on-arrival crime thriller that gets needlessly complicated as it goes along, and then you pull the rug out from under me and reveal that everything in the movie sans the last two minutes was a total fabrication? And you entice me to sit through it again to piece what you threw at me together?
Yeah, fuck you.
*CELEBRATORY 19th BIRTHDAY FILM VIEWINGS: Part 2 (of 2)*
Even with it being my favorite film of all time, I don't know if I can ever properly review Magnolia. This is my fourth viewing of it, yet I'm still at a loss for words. There's no possible way I could condense my love for it down to four or five simple paragraphs, as the coherence of my writing would be on par with that of a page out of Finnegans…