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  • Promare

    Promare

    Hackneyed dialogue, Saturday morning cartoon narrative, and boring exposition. Probably wouldn’t have hated it so much if I’d known it was a kids’ movie but everything I heard going in led me to believe it was this gay epic. Shut it off after 38 minutes

  • Candyman

    Candyman

    ★★★★

    What if the bogeyman represented a kind of confused analysis of centuries of the violence of white supremacy but also you wanted to fuck him.

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  • Joker

    Joker

    ½

    An extremely dumb person's idea of what a smart movie looks like.

  • Artemis Fowl

    Artemis Fowl

    ½

    I wish I was fucking dead