• Batman Begins

    Batman Begins

    rachel: constantly dunking on Bruce Wayne, does not seem to recognize how s*xy he is

    me: would never dunk on Bruce Wayne, absolutely 10000% understands how h*t he is

    riddle me THIS, batman!!

  • The 355

    The 355

    the nicest thing i can say about this movie is that going into it, my father did not know what “cheugy” meant, and now he does

    a proper illustration that good intentions do not always yield good results—sure, you can definitely tell everyone means well by this movie, but that doesn’t stop them from trying so hard they shoot right past the goal and end up a soulless, cliche, and somehow already dated girlboss copy-paste flick

  • The Tragedy of Macbeth

    The Tragedy of Macbeth

    hMmmMm—some conflicted feelings on this one! three years of Shakespeare adaptation classes in high school plus however many more required courses in college have left me satiated on films from Kurosawa, Branagh, Tamor.

    does the adaptation explore a different leafy shadow? does it reimagine something core to reveal a new light? is it full of feeling—signifying something beyond the page, or the imagined stage?

    maybe unfair or unrealistic standards for any adaptation, but it’s been done—Ran, for instance, is my…

  • 22 Jump Street

    22 Jump Street

    something LGBT just happened to me

  • West Side Story

    West Side Story

    new CDC guidelines recommend no more musicals be made until Wicked finally comes out

  • The Twilight Saga: New Moon

    The Twilight Saga: New Moon

    easily the worst book and film of their franchises, but New Moon still takes some bold campy swings. how anyone has ever been Team Jacob will never make sense to me but alas. needs more Edward and Cullens and Charlie

  • Twilight

    Twilight

    i’ve been asking my boyfriend to watch this with me for almost two years and all it took to get him to finally say yes was my cat dying <3

  • Encanto

    Encanto

    cute! it’s fine

  • Spider-Man: No Way Home

    Spider-Man: No Way Home

    gorgeous gorgeous girls recognize alfred molina is sexy. gorgeous gorgeous girls maybe think dr. lizard conners is also sexy and should go to therapy

  • Nightmare Alley

    Nightmare Alley

    normalize making movies not boring <3

    this is just so… bland. it decides halfway that it doesn’t have enough steam at the carnival, so then it skips a few years and lands in a lifeless Chicago for a tensionless noir slog. there’s almost something camp about how melodramatic and serious it is, but lacks any sense of self-awareness of irony to actually capitalize on it. this might be the worst Blanchett performance i’ve seen too, and i HAVE seen Indiana…

  • Spider-Man: No Way Home

    Spider-Man: No Way Home

    i have sincerely never heard so many grown men sniffling in sync

  • Ghostbusters: Afterlife

    Ghostbusters: Afterlife

    is Olivia Wilde uncredited in this because Gozer looks exactly like James Charles and she doesn’t want that association