• 2046

    2046

    ★★★★½

    The cinematic language this film finds for interiority ... Tony Leung’s precisely deployed smiles ... the 80s “we’re going inside the computer” future graphics!

  • Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

    Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

    ★★★★

    How does McCoy only get hotter forget Phoebe Waller-Bridge reboot Indiana Jones with this guy!

  • Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

    Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

    ★★★

    DeForest Kelly playing Spock(‘s katra) trapped inside McCoy isn’t quite doesn’t quite rise to the level of say John Travlota playing Nicolas Cage playing John Travolta but damn it comes close.

  • The Forbidden Room

    The Forbidden Room

    ★★★★

    Featuring the #1 hit single “The Last Derrière.”

  • Heaven's Gate

    Heaven's Gate

    ★★★½

    "Oh, how I love Paris."

    This movie is one (1) entire mess — Walken's in a spirit gum mustache presumably stolen off a local high school's production of Guys of Dolls and for some reason *isn't* doing a voice even though the part calls for it — but Cimino? Man can shoot a crowd scene, especially if it involves dancing, horses, dust, or roller skates. What he can't do: nuanced political commentary; top McCabe & Mrs. Miller.

    It *was* nice of Sam Waterston to drop by and give us this very disturbing but frankly unsurprising Jack McCoy origin story.

  • Star Trek: The Motion Picture

    Star Trek: The Motion Picture

    ★★★

    I could write *poetry* about the four-and-a-half inches of chest DeForest Kelly is showing off. Bones? More like *Skins* (not the television show).

  • Bad Trip

    Bad Trip

    ★★★★½

    What if pranking people but not mean???

  • The Wicker Man

    The Wicker Man

    ★★★★★

    Midsommar WHO???

  • The Keep

    The Keep

    ★★½

    If you listen closely, I swear you can hear Michael Mann screaming. Weird that they stuck a bunch of porn right in the middle.

  • Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

    Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

    ★★★½

    Khan! He's back! And he seems quite upset!

  • The Little Mermaid

    The Little Mermaid

    ★★★½

    Turns out most of my memories of The Little Mermaid are actually memories of a knock-off Disney called The Swan Princess, which, based on the Wikipedia summary I just read, sounds one, deranged, and two, absolutely terrifying. Anyway, The Little Mermaid is good but mostly because of the music and the one million hand drawn bubbles. Oh and the chef, who was not fired after destroying the kitchen and remains obsessed with murdering Sebastian, presumably to this day.

  • Aladdin

    Aladdin

    ★★★★★

    Hadn't seen this since I was six, when it was my favorite movie for three months (got bumped by Strictly Ballroom when that came out in February of 93). So good I started crying partway through.