• The Ghost Galleon

    The Ghost Galleon

    ★★½

    Two models are sent on a hare-brained ad scheme where they're supposed to advertise swimsuits on a small boat in the middle of the ocean to passing ships. Shortly after radioing that they've seen an ancient spectral galleon surrounded by mist, contact is lost and it's up to a small group of friends and coworkers to attempt a rescue mission and find out what happened.

    This was my least favorite of the Blind Dead series, but that doesn't equate to…

  • The Green Knight

    The Green Knight

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    A real roundabout way of saying "A rolling stone gathers no moss"

    Since Mom Morgana seemed to be responsible for the creation of the Green Knight, I would guess that Gawain is not killed at the end. It's like one of those dumb frat initiation things where the guy gets blindfolded and thinks he's doing something scary but isn't really going to get hurt. The point is that he went through with it. Like why would you go to the…

  • Body Parts

    Body Parts

    ★★★½

    The vibe of this is like a cross between Cronenberg and Brian De Palma

  • Three-Head Monster

    Three-Head Monster

    ★★★½

    This was sort of a scattershot but delightful fantasy-action-comedy. The plot feels like they made it up as they went along, but it doesn't bother you unless you let it!

    This is about a kid that comes across a lot of strange bullshit, but the bulk of the plot has to do with his journey to find a kidnapped 1000 year old ginseng spirit. The kid has to find the "Ginseng King" (an alternate title for this movie) in order…

  • Crash

    Crash

    ★★★½

    My favorite thing about this is the loud crystal clear sound of Rosanna Arquette's leather and metal leg braces, but the other stuff was good and strange too.

  • Flashback

    Flashback

    ★★★

    A spaced-out guy going through the motions of his mundane life decides to go against the norm one day. His action causes an obtrusive flashback(!) to his school days and a girl he knew that disappeared after a night he and some friends spent together. He returns to old places and acquaintances to try to figure out what happened to his lost friend.

    This is slowly paced, but it works for the type of characterization and mystery they're going for.…

  • Fatal Exam

    Fatal Exam

    College students in a parapsychology class are given an optional final exam where they can choose to stay in an allegedly haunted house where some murders happened. A group of them go and try to find clues to piece together the puzzle of what happened and what is still happening there before it's too late.

    There's a scrappy 3 star movie in here somewhere, but you'd have to cut quite a bit of bloat to get to it. Every plot…

  • Winterbeast

    Winterbeast

    ★½

    This is boring despite having a lot of stop motion animation sequences and lots of different kinds of monsters. It is clearly a passion project but the majority of it is people having long conversations about whether or not there are demons/monsters at a resort and whether or not the resort should be opened or closed. Everything is drawn out longer than it needed to be. This combined with repetitive music made me keep losing interest and getting sleepy.

    It reminded me a bit of Equinox and Frostbiter: Wrath of the Wendigo, but I found both of those movies far more interesting and entertaining.

  • Nobody

    Nobody

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Not great, but good. John Wick lite with a comedic tinge. In its early moments, it reminded me of The Incredibles and how the Parrs have to suppress their abilities in a mundane life.

    I liked an element of the bus fight that didn't seem to continue as the movie progressed. Hutch (Odenkirk) gets beaten up a fair amount too, and really seems to feel the effects of the beating. But later in the movie he seems to become more…

  • Dark Tower

    Dark Tower

    ★★½

    DARK TOWER is about a series of strange occurrences in a high rise office building, starting with the mysterious falling death of a window washer. The architect in charge of the building's construction /renovation (Jenny Agutter) gets in touch with the lead investigator (Michael Moriarty) to relay her eyewitness account of the incident. With each new gruesome death, Moriarty tries to piece together the mystery, and also to understand the horrible visions he has been having.

    Considering the supernatural plot…

  • Monster Hunter

    Monster Hunter

    ★★★½

    As deep as a puddle, but brings above average action to the table (and a lot of it). The beginning was the toughest for me because you get thrown in with MJ's military unit, none of which get any kind of depth or introduction. But the reason why soon becomes apparent, and yada yada yada, MJ and TJ are alone in a desert full of monsters trying to survive. This part of the movie was reminiscent of RIDDICK from 2013,…

  • Heartbeat

    Heartbeat

    ★★★½

    This is a good thing to watch if you're in the mood for an evil soap opera. It is reminiscent of the type of conspiratorial double-crossing plot lines and characters you'd find in a Martino or Miraglia movie, but seems like it may be mostly inspired by the classic thriller DIABOLIQUE. There's a very clear nod to it during one key scene, and there are parallels in the plot.

    Despite being slow, this is just odd and gory enough to work.