• Blue Juice

    Blue Juice

    ★★★½

    In what twisted reality does Sean Pertwee end up with Catherine Zeta-Jones.

  • American Animals

    American Animals

    ★★★★

    This is the kind of thing that I bet Netflix wish they’d had the luck to pioneer- so damn entertaining and accessible, with a lightning fast pace quicker than a fat kid chasing an ice-cream truck. Yet, as a fat kid with an ice-cream, it left me wanting so much more. I don’t know if this is necessarily a bad thing though, as there’s enough here to constitute a 6 part series, so the fact that it was so cutely…

  • Escape From Pretoria

    Escape From Pretoria

    ★★

    Gonna give this two stars instead of one because I was absolutely baked when I watched it and it was kind of funny. Harry Potter’s South African accent is nothing shy of an insult to the entire country, but he’s poured his heart and soul into this role, bless him. There’s a couple of suspenseful sequences, but this film is so one dimensional and doesn’t respect the audience enough to let them participate in deciphering the story. It’s a bit of a kid’s film and, quite honestly, a bit of a sellout. Stick to Askiban, Potter.

  • Cannibal Holocaust

    Cannibal Holocaust

    ★★★★½

    As a study of white imperialism, Cannibal Holocaust is a little late to the party (had this been released 15 years earlier, we’d be looking at one of the most important films of all time) but as a general addition to the medium of film, it is a gift of a submission. Regardless of the intention and the, unintentionally, wry hypocrisy of Ruggero Deodato in the way he slips into a dangerously similar role to the characters portrayed in the film,…

  • Infernal Affairs

    Infernal Affairs

    ★★★★

    The fact that you already know what’s gonna happen (assuming you’ve seen The Departed) makes this so fucking suspenseful. As if there isn’t already heaps of dramatic irony at work already, the painstaking margins of cat and mouse tension is so anxiety-inducing when you know what, but not exactly how, something is going to play out. I know that’s completely irrelevant as a commentary of this film as a stand alone picture but that hand flying in the elevator with…

  • Visitor Q

    Visitor Q

    ★★★

    You can’t say that there isn’t anything behind this. Whether you look at it religiously (with Q as a Christ-like figure) or politically (as an undermining of the bourgeois lifestyle) this is, one way or another, a critique of something. I can easily see why people struggle with it though, so whilst it isn’t indecipherable, like many suggest, it is still entirely revolting. I felt most comfortable with the film during the sequence when the bullies are comically wiped out by…

  • The Passion of the Christ

    The Passion of the Christ

    ★★★

    This is completely tormenting and down right grim, and I really can’t see anything positive or unique to take away from Mel Gibson’s portrayal of these events, though you have to respect a certain degree of personal filmmaking vulnerability that has been put on display here. The flagellation of Christ is bloody provocative, no puns intended, and about half way though the beating, one begins to question the credibility and drive of this film; it’s all a bit suspect in…

  • Greenland

    Greenland

    ★★★

    I love that this entire film anchors on the fact that the little kid lets the medication slip out of his fucking bag. Other than that, I think this film actually hates America. If it is indeed a social critique, it’s specifically ‘White America’ that comes under fire here; high earners getting tickets to safety, red neck xenophobes taking issue to Gerard Butler’s Scottish roots (come on now), a virtuous, black, looter that allows the mother and child to live…

  • The Human Condition II: Road to Eternity

    The Human Condition II: Road to Eternity

    ★★★★★

    Kaji continues to balance himself on the tight rope between fanciful heroism and conscientious objector of all things optimising militarism. Once again with this series we get the heightened impression of humanism though Kaji’s desperate will to keep himself safe. It’s so refreshing to see his will to help Obara, yet this is never pushed too far- we see him establishing his own boundaries, ultimately leading to the suicide of Obara, proving once again that the limitations of true humanism…

  • Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

    Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

    ★★★★★

    I’d let this film sit on my face.

  • Don's Plum

    Don's Plum

    ★★★★

    I sincerely believe that this is not a bad film. The fact that mumblecore took off in the immediate wake is no coincidence- this is never credited as one, but it is arguably the granddaddy of mumblecore films. I mean how can it not be with dialogue such as: “stop looking at me or I’ll smash a fucking bottle over your head” and: “I’m Derek, this is whore”. Leo honestly excels- it’s so nice to see him in something that…

  • The Human Condition I: No Greater Love

    The Human Condition I: No Greater Love

    ★★★★★

    This makes Paths of Glory look like a cute little puppy. I’m so disappointed I hadn't seen this earlier in my life but there you have it, better late than never. I think Kaji might be one of my favourite film characters ever- there’s genuine relatability here that drowns the cinematic tendencies of fanciful heroism. Kaji’s dilemmas are fragile- we see a man behaving and conjecturing with the consequences in mind, the tormenting battle between self-love and selflessness. We’re all…