Favorite films

  • Surf Ninjas
  • Heat
  • Cosmopolis
  • Enemy

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  • Pig

    ★★★★★

  • The Tragedy of Macbeth

    ★★★★

  • Cook Up a Storm

    ★★½

  • Smocaine 3

    ★★★★½

Recent reviews

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  • Pig

    Pig

    ★★★★★

    Ever since I left the rancid anti-world of Portland and I mention that I've been there (for 6 years and 8 months of my life that I'll never get back that set me on a path through massive debt, a network of liars and horrible misfortune that I'm still only now getting out of or trying dear god I'm trying), people wince and go "oof" or "ugh, Portland." I then tell them "haha, yeah, and I went to culinary school…

  • The Tragedy of Macbeth

    The Tragedy of Macbeth

    ★★★★

    Kudos to the entire cast for being able to recite any of their lines without stuttering or holding the screenplay in their hands and just fucking staring at it, you know? I typically feel a little uncultured and stupid when people go full Shakespeare in one of these adaptations if they're done so well but this one is ver-fucking-bose! If you ever wondered "huh. I wonder how A24 would handle Macbeth," this is it, here you go.

Popular reviews

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  • Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning

    Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning

    ★★★★

    I really wasn’t expecting this.

    Upon checking out some of the other reviews here, I knew I was going to end up with a little bit more than your average shitty action flick, which I love anyway, so I was excited to see just how different Day of Reckoning could possibly be. The answer is quite different. This is the closest thing to a Hotline Miami movie we’re bound to see for a while. The whole thing is an unsettling…

  • The Dark Side of the Sun

    The Dark Side of the Sun

    The problem with telling people you love to watch shitty movies is sometimes you get challenged to view their suggestions. "Wanna see a bad movie? The Dark Side of the Sun's a bad movie. Promise me you'll watch it sober." "Sure thing." God save me from another such victory.