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  • The Monster

    The Monster

    ★★★½

    Okay so this is a Bollywood take on Nightmare on Elm Street which if that isn’t a selling point, I don’t know what to tell ya. There is a Freddy Krueger type character and he does terrorize teens. But it’s still a Bollywood movie, so it’s got AMAZING songs and choreographed sequences. There’s a character that idolizes Michael Jackson and has no business in this movie and yet is absolutely essential to this movie!

  • Tom Jones

    Tom Jones

    ★★★

    What in the chaotic nightmare fuel is this movie?!?! Tom Jones is a film adaptation of a book that was written in the 1700s about the merry adventure of a male slut (he just can’t help himself!). It also won an Academy Award for Best Picture in 1963, I believe and seen as one of the biggest mistakes the Academy committee has ever done. People, this movie is STRANGE. It’s chopped up by some of the craziest editing and sound…

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  • Mortal Kombat

    Mortal Kombat

    ★★½

    Listen, we weren’t expecting an actual plot and good storytelling, now were we? I wanted to see fatalities and a bunch of nods to the game, and when Kung Lao said “Flawless Victory”, I have never cheered louder in my life. The need to have our protagonist not MK Kanon (tee hee) is very confusing but what’s even more confusing was the sloppy editing. Shameful! FINISH THEM (the editor)!! Also, why was Kano literally the only engaging character in the movie? There better be a sequel where we ACTUALLY get to see Mortal Kombat!

  • Frankenhooker

    Frankenhooker

    ★★★★★

    This, Brain Damage and Basket Case are the Holy Trinity of Horror. All of them directed by Frank Henenlotter which is the John Waters of horror (imho) and they are PERFECT. Frankenhooker is a fun revenge story (think about it!) and I think a straight edge anthem (reeeally think about it!!). Ugh it’s so perfect!