• Jurassic Park

    Jurassic Park


    i don't get people who don't like this film. there's dinosaurs, there's laura dern... literally what else do you want?

  • Never Been Kissed

    Never Been Kissed


    as india ferrah once famously said: prison, honey!

  • Wicked


    if you haven’t already can you please sign that petition to keep james corden away this film i am begging

  • Jennifer's Body

    Jennifer's Body


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    if my best friend got killed in a satanic ritual then showed up on my doorstep i would simply get her some food and help her get revenge

  • The Decoy Bride

    The Decoy Bride


    this concept had potential. specifically, gay potential:

    1) societal pressures of marriage + insular island community = katie never had the confidence, nor the chance, to actually explore what her sexuality was.
    2) katie was brought up in an environment with antiquated (see: the women as property bits) and heteronormative viewpoints, culminating in the idea of marriage as aspirational.
    3) katie's upset and annoyance re: her (lack of) relationship status is not framed as her wanting a man, rather, she…

  • What We Do in the Shadows

    What We Do in the Shadows


    if i was a vampire i'd be the viago of vampires (trying to get housemates to do the dishes, telling people to put paper down to not get blood on the couch, marrying a gilf...)

  • Bee Movie

    Bee Movie


    what i think happened is: barry died in that car and the rest of the movie is his brain firing off random neurons in his last moments to distract from the pain.

  • Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

    Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix


    did nobody tell umbridge that if you’re kind and polite the world will be right

  • What a Girl Wants

    What a Girl Wants


    daphne is an icon for tanking the electability of - and then taking out of the running entirely - a tory candidate.

  • Sweetheart



    finally a film that captures the horrific experience of being dragged along to an holiday park you last enjoyed when you were twelve

  • Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

    Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets


    if i was the protagonist of these films hagrid would have been rotting in azkaban i simply am not following any spiders

  • Cinderella


    that wasn't idina menzel that was adele dazeem