• It's Alive

    It's Alive

    Hooptober 8.0 #74

    Original Cinemonster List

    ✓ Padding Out the List 2/3

    I really thought a movie about a newborn with claws on a murder rampage would be more exciting. Watch Hell Baby instead.

  • Ringu



    Hooptober 8.0 #23

    Original Cinemonster List

    ✓ Asian horror 4/3

    Great sound work and strong performances. I don’t know if this was inspired by something else, but the idea of a strange tape at a strange hotel that kills you a week after you watch it is pretty creative. The problem is that it sets up this great premise, then stalls for 45 minutes, then finally pays it off. I have this issue with a lot of horror movies where…

  • Dune


    With more overhead tracking shots than you can shake a thumper at, story structure more lopsided than a Guild navigator’s body proportions, and a color palette that looks like someone spilled a tray of yellow and brown paints across the screen, Denis Villeneuve’s Dune brings boredom to a scale never seen before.

    Watching this, I finally zeroed in on what doesn’t work for me about Villeneuve as a filmmaker: he has no sense of the arc of a scene, let…

  • Galaxy of Terror

    Galaxy of Terror

    Hooptober 8.0 #22

    Original Cinemonster List

    ✓ Film From 1981 3/4

    The first twelve minutes of the film consist of a series of a hyperjumps where the whole crew is sitting down looking around at each other from shaking chairs. I believe the term “non-stop thrill ride” was coined after watching this sequence.

    After a good deal more time-wasting, some cool things do happen. I was actually really impressed by some of the slimy tentacle monster stuff, but it's too…

  • Tourist Trap

    Tourist Trap

    Hooptober 8.0 #21

    Original Cinemonster List

    ✓ Padding Out the List 1/3

    The giggling toys are creepy as hell.

    Is garlic-mouth some kind of anti-Italian slur? I've never heard that before.

    Bonus points for the dumbest ending yet, which is really saying something.

  • Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid

    Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid

    Hooptober 8.0 #20

    Original Cinemonster List

    ✓ Worst Part 2

    I guess when your expectations are at rock bottom, it’s easy to be pleasantly surprised.

  • The Wraith

    The Wraith


    Hooptober 8.0 #19

    Original Cinemonster List

    ✓ Film From 1986 2/2

    In a shameless attempt to cash in on Christine’s recent success, The Wraith features a ghost car that kills people with street racing. A number of other 80s staples like multicultural gangs, gratuitous babe-age, and shirtless Charlie Sheen on a dirt bike clutter this nearly mediocre monster movie.

    The murder car probably would have been more effective if it hadn’t been covered in dust and fingerprints, but then again…

  • Eve's Bayou

    Eve's Bayou


    Hooptober 8.0 #18

    Original Cinemonster List

    ✓ Decade 6/8
    ✓ POC Director or Lead 2/3

    I really wanted to get into this because I love the atmosphere, costumes, and general style. But goddamn it is just soooooooo sloooooooooow and everything feels inconsequential. Jurnee Smollett is pretty good, as are Samuel L. Jackson and his transient Louisiana accent, but they just have so little to work with. Plus the internet lied to me when it said this was a horror movie; it’s more of just a drama with some psychic powers. I should have watched The Gift instead.

  • Dark Water

    Dark Water

    Hooptober 8.0 #17

    Original Cinemonster List

    ✓ Haunted House 3/2

    “It’s got a great view, safety glass in the shower, two bedrooms—I should mention that the unit is haunted—easy access to the bridge…”

    “Let me give you a deposit right now!”

    This horror is too real.

  • Terrified


    Hooptober 8.0 #16

    Original Cinemonster List

    ✓ Country 7/6

    A very strange film that almost feels like a spoof of itself at times. Some cool monster design and good scares prop the movie up, but the erratic tone and constantly shifting main characters make it difficult to really sink the teeth into.

  • Godzilla


    Hooptober 8.0 #15

    Original Cinemonster List

    ✓ Kaiju/Kong Movie 1/1

    While most of the film consists of mundane conversations and arguments between officials, it’s easy to see why the building-smashing parts of Godzilla, with their explosive volumes and catastrophic visuals, would go on to create an entire genre; there’s just something exciting about a giant monster tear-assing through a city.

    Some really strong miniature work bolsters the effect. Even though Gojira’s foot might look rubbery and fake, the buildings its…

  • What Keeps You Alive

    What Keeps You Alive

    Hooptober 8.0 #14

    Original Cinemonster List

    ✓ Country 6/6
    ✓ Film in the Woods 1/1

    I enjoyed the energetic camerawork and the overall intensity, but this just felt like all premise and no follow-through.

    Brittany Allen (Popclaw from The Boys) gives a terrific performance as the lead, and it’s really nice to see Martha MacIsaac (Becca from Superbad) getting some work. She’s not amazing or anything, but she has a welcome warm energy. The third actress looks a lot like my sister-in-law, which was extremely off-putting but not really her fault.

    Wish I had more to say, but this movie was just bad.