Jenny's Wedding

Jenny's Wedding

me: yay this looks like a cute gay romcom i'm going to watch it
jenny's wedding: THINK AGAIN U GAY BOZO THIS ONE'S ACTUALLY FOR THE HETS!!!!!!!!!!

i'm too cross about this to let it slide with just a vitriolic aside & a sad, single star, but this isn't going to be a review so much as an angry mash of words because, to use the technical term, WHAT THE FUCK!?! WHAT? THE FUCK? this movie is a disaster. it's a disaster in so many ways it's actually extremely depressing oh my GOD right okay let's start at the beginning. this movie is supposed to be about a LESBIAN COUPLE obviously but alas it was so fucking clearly written by straight people with NO DAMN CLUE of what a wlw relationship actually looks like!!!!! not only do the leads have sub-zero chemistry but the film actively does not give a shit about them. they literally behave just like the platonic-ass roommates all the Old Hets believe they are for the first half of the film!!! don't make a movie that you SAY is going to be about a lesbian couple and then actively restrict them from actually BEHAVING LIKE A COUPLE. more than that they're only legitimised as a gay couple by fitting into as straight a guide as possible like there are NO OTHER OPTIONS if this couple is to be successful they have to Appear Straight and nothing else. there aren't even any other gay characters or even fucking stereotypes (and if i am asking for STEREOTYPES at this point surely that tells you something about this film's "representation") in the entire movie it's just all these tired hets trying to come to terms with the "changes" and even MORE DIALOGUE THAT MADE ME WANT TO STUFF A DAMN PRIDE FLAG IN ONE OF ME EARDRUMS UNTIL IT POPPED OUT THE OTHER SIDE. like of COURSE the old dad is confused about how lesbians "do it" ha ha! of course! what wit! what realism! yelling about lesbian sex at a funeral!! truly groundbreaking!!! honestly The Movement owes this film so much i hope they select it to be preserved in the national archives so i can BREAK IN, BURN THE COPIES AND USE THE ASHES TO SPELL OUT "NEXT TIME I WILL ACTUALLY DO SOME RESEARCH ON MY SUBJECT MATTER ESPECIALLY IF IT IS BY NATURE SLIGHTLY POLITICAL (or maybe i'll just draw a giant ash middle finger i haven't decided). that's not even the worst part oh my gOD the entire damn film focuses on how "selfish" the main character is for "lying" to her family for basically the entire time she's been alive and not only is it AWFUL IT LITERALLY MAKES NO SENSE AND IT'S SCREAMINGLY OBVIOUS. LIKE. ANYONE WITH THE REMOTEST KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT IT ACTUALLY IS TO BE GAY WOULD LOOK AT THIS AND GO "WHAT KIND OF HETERO BULLSHIT HAS THIS WRITER CONCOCTED HERE IN THEIR TACKY RAINBOW-PAINTED CAULDRON OF FETISHISING THE """"""COMING OUT"""""" EXPERIENCE?" GOD. and then right when u think it can't get WORSE beyond that it DOES and the whole family starts to shame the main character for literally nothing beyond "making her life about her." gee how awful. truly despicable. AND THEN THE CLIMACTIC POINT OF THE FILM IS THE MOST AWKWARD WEDDING EVER BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE THAT CLEARLY ARE LARGELY INDIFFERENT TOWARDS ONE ANOTHER THANKS TO LAZY AND CLUELESS WRITING and ON TOP OF THAT the (badly acted) ""happiness"" of the gay couple catalyses some kind of nice neat straight reconciliation for the main character's parents. so in the end it's not even remotely about the lesbians. jesus i can't believe this got made and what's even more fucking infuriating is that i can absolutely believe that as this was being created everyone involved probably patted themselves on the back because they all believed they were Doing A Service To Them Gays. good lord. never again. i'm so mad about this truly but even this damn review makes more sense than the nasty het goggles this movie was written through.

p.s. also how on earth do they think lesbians dress????? those boots are from 2006 at least. and with that skirt???? she's a lesbian not an old suburban english teacher who drinks too much wine at lunch. someone get her a damn flannel for christ's sake.

indi liked this review