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  • Gone Girl

    Gone Girl

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    any man: hey, you seem pretty cool and I was wonderi–

    me: Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a…

  • An Education

    An Education

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    i didn't trust that store-brand colin firth