Final Destination 5

Final Destination 5 ★★★½

Live review

Theres no way in hell this chubby nerd who clearly cant talk to women is a ladies man. Plus, hes wearing a yellow and black fred perry, which is the uniform of the proud boys. Of course hes a dick.
Why the fuck is the chubby girl tell the skeleton to to work out to lose her baby fat? Look, im not trying to fat shame, im not in the best of shape. . . but wtf is this movie doing? Is this comedy? its not funny.
Considering how everything bad happens starts with a gust of wind, im more likely to believe that the demon from The Wind is the one doing all this and not "death."

Im REAL tired of these 3D deaths. However, the premonition deaths in this one are real good, except for the impaling death is a little over done. The bridge sequence as a whole is done well. The tar death is probably my favorite in the whole series

*Death by hot tar 10/10. Wicked sick watching his skin melt. Premonition death or not.

LMFAO WTF the cops are trying to pin premeditated murder on this dude for A BRIDGE COLLAPSING WHILE UNDER CONSTRUCTION.
WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYONE IN THIS MOVIE THINK SAM DID IT ON PURPOSE HOW THE FUCK WOULD A CHEF COLLAPSE A BRIDGE WHILE IN A FUCKING BUS. Jesus this bothers me too much.

If Death hates being cheated so much why is it always giving people a heads up?

*Death by gymnastics fall 8/10 Brutal, hard and fast, nice long shot of the carnage and twisted body.

*Death by head crush 2/10 repeat.

Seeing all this Tony Todd just makes me sad that the new Candy Man hasnt come out yet.

*Death by falling out of a window 1/0. The laser part was cool, and i like the eye squishing. But seriously, falling is the best you can come up with in the fifth installment? Falling is literally how she died in the premonition. The only death Ill tolerate being played twice is HOT TAR GODDAMNIT

Roy calls his wife a whore, but not the subtitles. The subtitles are classy.

*Death by wrench to the face 6/10 Good practical effect.

I like that they are dipping their toes back into the idea that you can kill people to save yourself.

*Death by plane wing 5/10 eh

*Death by explosion 8/10. This one only scores high because its the the beginning of the first movie, otherwise explosions are overplayed in this series.

Fitting end to the series, though Id totally watch more.