Favorite films

  • The Graduate
  • In Bruges
  • The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover
  • Mary and Max

Recent activity

  • Batman: The Long Halloween, Part Two

  • The Game


  • Woodstock 99: Peace, Love, and Rage

  • Old

Pinned reviews

  • Nine Days

    Nine Days


    Edson Oda out here doing Kaufman better than Kaufman.

    Beautiful film across the board with fantastic performances by everyone involved from the stars to the unknowns. Special mention to the score as well which was truly gorgeous. 

    Watch If: you like abstract meaning of life films.

    Discussion Question: (mild spoilers) Were you a little disappointed that the finalists felt a bit telegraphed by the fame of those cast in the various roles?

  • Frozen II

    Frozen II


    Let’s talk a little about the lack of plot-specificity in the lyrics of modern animated musicals. Somewhere in the bowels of Disney, it was decided that for a song to crossover into the mainstream, it had to have minimal to no references that are specific to the characters and plot. This means that every single audience member could sing this song and not have idiosyncratic lines about “whozits and whatzits galore”. The more homogenized the song, the more likely it’ll…

Recent reviews

  • The Game

    The Game


    A Christmas Carol by way of Escape Room, but far less interesting than that sounds. Douglas and Penn are hammy in this and the mystery seems pretty obvious throughout. Disappointed.

    Watch If: you like the Succession opening titles so much you wanna see a whole movie of that style. 

    Discussion Question: Have you heard of that The Tension Experience? Same vibes as this honestly.

  • Old


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Anyway, watch The White Lotus on HBO Max. 

    Nah, but seriously, this movie was goofy as hell. It’s as deep as the puddle Bruce Willis got drowned in with dialogue that caused my theater to devolve into hysterics.

    One of the best theater experiences of my life, but with this most forgettable of films. 

    The rust scene was cool though if horribly performed and written.

    Watch If: you’re into M Night’s heart-on-his-sleeve corny horror films.

    Discussion Question: Is there a funnier line than “I need my calcium”?

Popular reviews

  • The Mitchells vs. The Machines

    The Mitchells vs. The Machines

    I love animated movies. This is what I imagine people who hate them feel like every animated movie is: just constant screaming, flat plotting, and weak jokes. The voice acting (of actors I usually like) is hyped up to 11, which becomes grating after a few minutes. The plot itself is obvious and unsurprising with no plot moments that have any weighty stakes.

    Now combine that with a near constant stream of paint-by-numbers faux sentimentality, vague corporate-approved gestures at representation,…

  • Pig


    A movie as boring as it is mean-spirited. This is an off-broadway play at best. Cage is fine but his persona overtakes whatever small character-work he does. There’s also a scene with Cage’s old apprentice that is the worst performance I have seen in a film, possibly bar none. Just dreadful.

    Great pig tho. Fantastic pig. 

    Watch If: you REALLY like Cage.

    Discussion Question: What is the point of the underground chef boxing ring? The strangest scene.