Favorite films

  • Blood Simple
  • The Vanishing
  • The House of the Devil
  • First Reformed

Recent activity

  • The 355


  • Last Radio Call


  • Into the Grizzly Maze


  • Bergman Island


Pinned reviews

  • Sully



    ♫ This is the Captain, brace that ass for impact.
    Don't doubt, motherfucker, ain't in the abstract.
    Bird strikin' tiddies, with bitches that is stacked.
    Black box, listen close, make your balls retract. ♫

    ♫ Ain't no crash, perfect forced water landing.
    Back the fuck off, 'fore I piss where you standing.
    I'm fucking filthy, just got the right branding.
    Ride on my mustache, that pussy commanding. ♫

    ♫ Can't sully this Sully, King of the Controls.
    Going ballistic, laying pipe 'round the poles,
    She start chanting, while I'm filling her holes:
    He did it, one hundred and fifty-five souls. ♫

  • Children of the Corn

    Children of the Corn

    ♫ The sins of modernity done made your ass weak
    Tremblin' before me as I'm spreadin' some cheek
    My crew's long knives stab-stabbin' your papa
    While I'm bangin' in the rows with girls that guapa ♫

    ♫ Got my suit and my tie and my round ass hat
    My creepy stare'll smoke ya as sure as a gat
    Y'all little bitches gonna end up in graves
    Cuz Isaac'll kill ya with the power of maize ♫

    ♫ Zapping puny brains…

Recent reviews

  • The 355

    The 355

    Far too long since I got to sink my teeth into an old-fashioned pile of wet Hollywood garbage. Gristly lumps of content dripping from the corners of my oily lips. A dry chortle scraping its way out of my lungs as the movie limps through another sequence of impact-free punchy kicky.

    I missed how it burns the back of the throat.

  • Last Radio Call

    Last Radio Call

    Derivative, overwrought, frequently idiotic, acted with the nuance of a catheter commercial, but has an awww shucks charm in how earnestly it presents every clichéd twist like a child breathlessly describing how oh boy something bad happens in an abandoned asylum in the middle of the night the last place and time you'd expect!

Popular reviews