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  • Amphibian Man

    Amphibian Man

    ★★★★

    Some MUSIC to accompany your sea shanty....

    Swims like a crocodile
    Has no need for an air hose, he breathes the water, itself.
    Ri-dic-ulous disguise
    a fish-boy from the Ukraine, who's pretty nice on the eyes.

    But he feels so alone, he's Amphibian Man
    His father told him to stay out of sight.
    Was a boy now he's grown, into Amphibian Man
    And he's looking for girls to excite.

    She hooked his fish eyes
    When she was swimming with sharks…

  • Humanoids from the Deep

    Humanoids from the Deep

    Everyone likes a good Christmas Carol, right?

    Maestro? Music, please?



    There's a monster with claws so razor sharp
    a living head of cabbage, and it smells of day old carp.
    Roger Corman you have done it once again,
    another genre rip-off, premise and budget both paper thin.
    Shadows hiding all the scenes that might be cool,
    but illumination shows off zippers in the suits.
    There's a monster with claws so razor sharp
    crawled out of the depths and clawed it's…

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  • Love

    Love

    I could never have imagined...

    That 18 years ago I would have met someone that loved me before I even met them. Someone that only saw the best Me, and tried in vain to tell me that it wasn't a façade. Someone that tried to show me unconditional love when all I knew was hurt and anger and betrayal. Someone that didn't deserve to receive those things as a receipt for their devotion. Someone that would persevere through the pain,…

  • Boulevard

    Boulevard

    ★½

    Come for the cast, stay for the…well, I guess that depends on how much you can stomach. 

    Boulevard is a wretched, depressing story about downward spirals and lives full of misfortune that you can still masturbate to! A weird hybrid between a Hallmark tear-jerking drama and a Skinimax pud-jerking soft-core, this movie mixes attempts at comments on serious issues facing women in real-life situations of trauma and violence with scenes of having those same women make out in a sexy-sax…

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  • Death to 2020

    Death to 2020

    ★★

    These Charlie Brooker specials are often quite terrifying. This one asks you to imagine a world where it’s impossible for anyone to say anything funny.

  • The Rocking Horsemen

    The Rocking Horsemen

    ★★★★

    Glissando [gli-sahn-doh]: a continuous slide upward or downward between two musical points.

    I think I owe Hausu an apology and a rewatch...

    So, it turns out, I am a huge fan of Obayashi's visual comedic timing. That, coupled with his cartoonish angles and sweeping camera movements give his shots their own feeling of youth and energy that make the viewer feel like an honorary band member; or a wide-eyed groupie, at the very least. Fourth wall breaks, Family Guy-style cut-aways…