Suicide Squad

Suicide Squad ★★

Dr. Cara Delevingne, Archaeologist

That just about sums up how stupid this Guardians of the Galaxy wannabe turned out to be, but what the hell, I'll get into the specifics anyway:

--The character arcs either simply do not make sense or do not exist. Will Smith plays a great Will Smith, but boy did his climax make no sense.

--Margot Robbie has fun with Harley Quinn, but David Ayer's male gaze camera has too much fun ogling her for us to care about her (nonexistent) character arc.

--The jokes are actually pretty fun most of the time, which is why the movie's not as terrible as, say, Ayn Rand's Batman v Superman...but some are offensively, antiquatedly misogynistic and dreadfully unfunny.

--The Joker is a white pimp.

--Jai Courtney's character leaves in one scene and comes back in the next without explanation, for no discernable reason, and does nothing in the climax to make himself particularly useful or interesting.

--One sequence in the movie clearly exists to pad the runtime and add an action beat... for no real reason, really.

--Killer Croc, Katana and Jai Courtney (who is surprisingly not terrible) do absolutely nothing of value or interest to the story, and Slipknot is introduced (with a misogynistic joke, no less) only to be killed off immediately.

--El Diablo is a cool character, but because we learn his backstory so late into the movie, his arc (the only one that came close to making sense) doesn't land with the emotional punch that it should. This is a classic problem that Film Crit Hulk explained perfectly in his John Carter post-mortem essay, which everyone should google and read right now because it is great.

--One unqualified positive: Diversity! Yay!

--Some cringeworthy dialogue that repeats "We're the bad guys!" over and over again as if we didn't get it before.

--Amanda Waller's plan makes zero sense. Plus, why wouldn't Batman or The Flash show up to deal with this world-ending threat?

--Illegible title cards that had potential to be funny if we could, y'know, actually read them.

--Viola Davis gets to play action hero for a brief minute... in an otherwise thankless, expository role.

--The song cues make the movie feel like a trailer, and while some play decently, some seriously suck--how is "Heathens" a hit? The score, on the other hand, is actually pretty good. Steven Price did some nice work.

--The Joker's subplot makes no sense and adds nothing to the movie.

--Leto's performance as the Joker isn't terrible, but his character design (both external and internal) is, and that makes him damn near unwatchable.

--The Joker is a white pimp.

--The 'friendship' between the squad is never established, so the climax makes no sense.

--It's like the filmmakers took everything about Guardians of the Galaxy, The Avengers and The Raid that didn't work at all and left out all the things that did.

--Did I mention the Joker is a white pimp?

--The Joker is a white pimp.

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