Riley

Riley

Patron

I been to hell ‘n back for 20 stacks

Favorite films

  • August in the Water
  • Tenet
  • 964 Pinocchio
  • Green Snake

Recent activity

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  • Night Teeth

    ★★

  • I Am Keiko

    ★★★

  • Jiraiya the Hero

  • Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel

    ★★½

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  • Night Teeth

    Night Teeth

    ★★

    A film that goes on tangents riffing off Collateral, John wick, and every L.A crime schlock that also for whatever reason is simultaneously about everyone being vampires who fight drug wars. Sydney Sweeney and Megan Fox show up at one point as sexy vampire overlords and are immediately killed. Very much kind of awful but weirdly ambitious conceptually and also kind of bat shit insane. Amazing!

  • You've Got Mail

    You've Got Mail

    ★★½

    The original e-couple

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  • Don't Look Up

    Don't Look Up

    A feature length (almost *2 & A HALF HOURS*) extension of that post-credit scene from Vice about how people watch too much Fast & Furious to care about “real issues”, practically every attempt at a joke in this amounts to “world ending…., but people only care about celebrity and smartphone??? So sad…..”. A completely vapid, smug, deeply condescending and empty platitude. This is satire made specifically for people who deem themselves more informed than the common folk to pat themselves on the…

  • Spider-Man: No Way Home

    Spider-Man: No Way Home

    ★★½

    Somehow miraculously not a *complete* disaster, there’s at long last some actual sense of consequence and finality that MCU’s (mostly mediocre/bad) attempts at Spidey, there are moments here that are shockingly somber and have wait for it….. some actual character? But every moment where I was thrilled and excited to see my favourite superhero is dulled out by something twice as irritating. Maybe chalk it up to being a COVID shoot but even for the typical mcu schlock this is…