Songbird is like a Michael Bay fill with anything that could be called a good bit taken out. It's has all the bad writing, nonsensical plot, dreadful acting and sexism without any of the big action set-pieces or shit blowing up. Underwritten is an understatement.

Greed is another one of Michael Winterbottom's distinctly average TV movies. Shirley Henderson is great. David Mitchell plays himself, but as another character. There are two jokes. There's a load of moralising in the credits, which is great when the filmmaker can't do it in the actual plot. Indeed, he seems to want to bring back capital punishment? So many people who are vague celebrities in Britain but who can not really act. All adds up to one of those rather annoying badly written British comedy dramas of the 1990s.

MS Slavic 7 is the kind of bollocks which makes pretentious student films look good.

Anyone who grew up in a small town will appreciate Lina Wertmüller film debut, The Basilisks. With all the snobbery, petty politics & social etiquettes of rural life. Dreams of the big city but it's so much easier just to stay where you are. Doing the same things. Day after day.