Dahlia Saint Knives

Dahlia Saint Knives

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  • X-Men: First Class

    X-Men: First Class

    ★★★½

    i have some serious issues with the naval tactics in the third act. the size of the submarine crew makes no sense. total mishandling of the nuclear reactor. just really bonkers stuff. also you’re telling me the soviets couldn’t have communicated with their other ship via Morse code flashes?? i want to remake this.

  • Killer Sofa

    Killer Sofa

    It’s not even a fucking sofa. New Zealand was a mistake.

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  • Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel

    Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel

    What starts out as an intriguing whodunnit in an infamous hotel by the third episode just descends fully into the kind of mind-numbing conspiracy babble that you’d see on Reddit or a Twitter thread. I assumed that the creators of this documentary would have focused a lot more on the creepy history of the establishment but it’s only really sprinkled in as an embellishment.

    What we end up with is a scattershot documentary that can’t justify its runtime and doesn’t…

  • The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

    The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

    ★★★★★

    An extremely hard dick movie. The river fighting sequence was breathtaking and the pacing was great. Smaug also had a really big dick