• Batman & Robin

    Batman & Robin

    Watched with a commentary. It's beyond me how this can be enjoyed otherwise.

    MVP: John Glover and Bane's Fedora

  • Symbiopsychotaxiplasm: Take 2 ½

    Symbiopsychotaxiplasm: Take 2 ½


    Hands down the MOST random Steve Buscemi appearance I've ever seen and the less I know about how it happened the better

  • Squirm



    (Benoit Blanc voice):

    "Makes no damn sense. Terrifies me, though."

  • Minari



    Quiet victories and crushing defeat. Everything dies, but everything has to live first. Quite possibly the reason movies exist; I can't wait to see more of them like this in theaters.

  • Shiva Baby

    Shiva Baby


    Related to this so much more than I was expecting. I despise small talk and (most) family functions, and the 'you must be constantly starving yourself!' comments were very close to home. The anxiety is palpable without feeling the need to be 130 minutes long and I am HERE for it. I feel so lost in this generation; this movie gets it. The score is transcendent. I also just love Molly Gordon so 🤷🏻‍♂️

    SIDE NOTE: The slow of production logos at the beginning are among the best I've ever seen. Worth the digital rental price fs

  • Time





  • Battle for the Planet of the Apes

    Battle for the Planet of the Apes


    It picks up a bit in the final act; really emphasizes the conclusion of Conquest, in that the advancement of civilization is more complex than any simple didactic conflict. Sadly, so much of it is just so damn tedious and uneventful that it's hardly worth arriving at that destination, much less one that's only a slight elaboration of what had come before. I'd love to see the mirror universe where these movies kept going consistently after this - it really…

  • Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

    Conquest of the Planet of the Apes


    A suspenseful, confrontational, calculated, effective, and perfectly balanced satire that I was not expecting to get as invested into as I was. It uses its own pre-established finality to build to a satisfying climax that, just as it begins to feel tiresome, pulls back at the last minute and reveals just how unexpectedly thoughtful it all was. Legitimately rivals the OG in my eyes.

  • The One and Only Ivan

    The One and Only Ivan


    Bryan Cranston is one committed sumbitch

  • Escape from the Planet of the Apes

    Escape from the Planet of the Apes



    So strange! Extremely perfunctory in places and remarkably clever in others, all while fully embracing the absurd comedy of this entire series' premise, an approach that the first two entries merely dabbled in. The narrative momentum doesn't really build much until the conclusion (and by then it's a bit too late), nor does it boast any of the striking imagery that I've come to love, but I'll be amazed if this doesn't end up being the most singularly unique entry in the franchise.

  • Beneath the Planet of the Apes

    Beneath the Planet of the Apes


    Pretty good actually! Satisfyingly continues the dystopian nihilism of the OG while expanding our knowledge of this possible future timeline. It's telling that neither of these first two protagonists even entertain the possibility that this desolate wasteland could be Earth; it's that kind of self-assured hubris that got us there in the first place. There's not much else on its mind beyond that, but I'll gladly accept the striking underground imagery and set design in exchange. I dig it.


  • Planet of the Apes

    Planet of the Apes


    So eerie. So quiet. So lonely. So hopeless.

    Only Rod Serling and Jerry Goldsmith could parlay such a simple role-reversal into this surreal, nightmarish experience, and of humanity's own design. It's the ultimate cinematic mirror. Sluggishness, wonkiness, and casual misogyny aside, this is a classic of the genre for a reason.