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  • The Abyss

    The Abyss


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    1. Obviously I want to star in every film I watch. This one made me go No - not worth it for a semi-dumb action movie. The disaster scenes, e.g. when the hurricane hits and their compartments flood, must have been terrifying to shoot.
    Then again, for a few million dollars...

    2. Whereas diegetically speaking, "three times normal dive pay" does not sound nearly enough. Kinda classist to assume, dumb worker crew is unanimously up for it??

    3. Me: Oh…

  • Alien Resurrection

    Alien Resurrection

    My God, this movie is actively stupid. I don't normally say this but I could feel entire sections of my brain go dark while watching, and believe me, that is a cause for alarm because I have no grey matter left to spare. Joss Whedon is such a fucking hack. When I checked how much runtime was left and saw I'd only made it HALFWAY through, I was ready for Ripley to point her gun at me and blow my…

Popular reviews

  • The Clowns

    The Clowns


    Stephen King:
    John Wayne Gacy:
    Fellini: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 NOT ALL CLOWNS!!!!!!!!!!!! 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

  • Baxter, Vera Baxter

    Baxter, Vera Baxter


    You'd think this was just another 1970s French feminist arthouse film in which dysthymic housewives talk about oppression at a measured pace, but then the music kicks in and instantly eradicates any doubt that this is a work of genius. The music, the women say, comes from an all-day party held by foreigners at a villa down the road. It's a mock-diegetic loop that pervades every setting at an even volume, reaching downtown Thionville, reaching the sea, even reaching Vera…