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  • Death Kiss

    Death Kiss

    Not only this movie stars a mostly OK Charles Bronson impersonator (a man called "Robert Bronzi"), it also features a mostly OK Alec Baldwin impersonator (a man called "Daniel Baldwin").

  • Queen of the Damned

    Queen of the Damned

    ★½

    A movie simultaneously too corny and too KoЯny

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  • Steamboat Willie

    Steamboat Willie

    ★★★½

    Turns out the whole image of Mickey as a milquetoast bore is just an attempt by Disney to over-correct how much of a scumbag that damn mouse used to be

  • Sullivan's Travels

    Sullivan's Travels

    ★★★

    Pluto stole the show

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  • The Lion King

    The Lion King

    ★½

    And what haunts me, is that in all the faces of all the lions that Favreau digitally created, I discover no kinship, no understanding, no mercy. I see only the overwhelming indifference of nature. To me, there is no such thing as a secret world of the CGI lions. And this blank stare speaks only of a half-bored interest in food.

  • The Cloverfield Paradox

    The Cloverfield Paradox

    ★½

    This isn't worth watching even with the We Hate Movies commentary, what a slog.